I just celebrated my 30th birthday and I thought this would be a good time to share some of the little wisdom I have learnt in my 30 years here on this earth. As I look back now on my 20s and my school years there are so many things I wish I could have told the younger me, so many things I worried about and focused on that really just didn’t matter. Now that I have entered my 30s I really feel content with myself, who I am and what I believe in. Others thoughts and opinions of me are not even something that cross my mind. I am too busy to be anything but myself and I don’t have the time nor the interest to please others. So here are 30 things, in no particular order, I have learnt and wish I had figured out sooner.
- Life is what you make it. When it comes down to it life is a mixture of choices we make and our reaction to things out of our control. One of my favourite sayings is “You are not a tree, move”. We have the ability to change our life everyday with every little decision we make. We can make drastic changes or small changes that add up to have massive impact on our lives.
- When it comes to friends Quality is better than Quantity. Like all relationships friendships are hard and take time and work. As life gets busier with spouses, responsibilities, careers and kids there becomes less and less time for friends. No longer do you spend all week just planning for the weekend with your friends, You soon realize who you were friends with simply out of convince and who are those forever friends. It is important to figure out who your ride or dies are and to put in the time and work to maintain those relationships.
- A tan isn’t worth the skin damage or risk of skin cancer. What I would give now to go back and shake myself for using stupid tanning booths or laying out on the dock without sunscreen on. There are so many good fake tanners out there now that you can still have a sun kissed glow without the moles and skin damage that comes with a real tan, not to mention how horrible it is on the ageing process and the high, high risk of skin cancer. So get a good sunscreen and where it EVERYDAY and get a good self tanner so that you don’t feel the need for a real tan.
- The Power of No. I use to say yes to everything. I was so afraid of missing out or letting someone down that I said yes to everything regardless on whether I actually wanted to. My new years resolution for 2018 was simple “Stop saying yes to things you fucking hate”. That year I learnt that saying Yes to something always meant saying no to something else. It meant saying no to reading that book I have had on my bedside table forever, it meant no to that extra sleep I really needed, it meant no to achieving a personal goal I really wanted to accomplish. By saying no to things I was going to do simply because I felt I “should” or I “had” to it meant I had more time for the things I actually wanted to do or simply had time to care for myself.
- If you wouldn’t buy it at full price, don’t buy it on sale. I am all about saving money but I use to run into the issue where I would buy something because it was on sale not because it was perfect or a loved it. This was especially true when it came to clothing so I ended up with a closet full of things I liked but were cheap versus a closet full of things I loved that I may not have always gotten a sale on. I still buy like 90% of things on sale but I always ask myself would I buy this if it were full price before heading to the cash.
- Dress for your body not for trends. This can be really hard to do as clothing stores latch onto and try to push fashion trends on everyone but not all trends look good on all body types and they go in and out of style so quickly its hard to keep up. I always recommend figuring out what works on your body type and invest in staple pieces that work for your body that you can wear again and again for years to come. Then if there is a trend you want to try purchase a less expensive version of it and mix it in with your wardrobe.
- If it won’t matter in 15 years, don’t worry about it for more than 15 minutes. Emotions make us human. We can’t help but be mad, worried, upset, But you need to learn to learn, let go and move on. In the grand scheme of life is that thing that is all consuming in this moment really that important?
- Don’t stress about things you can’t control. There are things in life that you just can’t control and no matter how much you stress or worry about them there is NOTHING you can do about them. Focus your efforts on things you can control.
- You only have one face, so invest in it. I don’t spend a lot of money on much but your face is something you only get 1 of and its going to represent you for the rest of your life. Therefore I do believe in investing in one of your biggest assets whatever that means to you. Also exfoliate, at least once a week, this will allow anything you put on your face to work better! Bonus tip: Sell the products you love so that you get your products at a discount and can make some extra cash!
- Your parents are actually pretty cool. The older I get the more I enjoy spending time with my parents. I find your 20s an odd time in the relationship as you try to navigate transitioning from a parent/child mentality to really a friendship/mentor but once you find that perfect balance it really is so much fun to get to know your parents as people outside of just your mom and dad.
- Love is Hard. The movies really mess us all up in this instance. Love is not all honeymoons and happily ever afters. Relationships take work and go through different season. You really do need to fall in love over and over again, ideally with the same person for the rest of your life 🙂 I love this quote from one of my favourite books ” Long-term Relationships – Being in a real, grown-up relationship means deciding every day to love another person, even though sometimes they will annoy the everlasting shit out of you “. Love it’s always going to perfect but it will always be worth it.
- Hydration is a part-time job. Its really freaking hard to stay hydrated but its also super important. I still struggle with this A LOT but I honestly feel so much better when i’m hydrated. I have more energy, I am not always hungry, my skin looks better and my organs are operating property… oh ya and I have to pee a heck of a lot! Find what works for you and make it your part time job to stay hydrated. For me I find flavoured water (i like lemon and cucumber) and rewarding myself ex. I can have a pop when I have drank 2 litres of water. Drink half your body weight in ounces a day doing whatever tricks work for you.
- The importance of sunglasses. Like sunscreen you also need to protect your eyes. Also squinting causes the dreaded crows feet. I keep sunglasses everywhere, my purse, my car, K’s car, the front hall and for this reason I don’t spend a lot of money on sunglasses because I just throw them wherever and lose/break them. My favourite ones come from the gas station and I get complements all the time on them.
- Life has no timeline or order. I spent my whole life thinking that life happened in a particular order and setting timelines on when these life events would happen only to be disappointed when I didn’t live up to these unrealistic expectations I had set for myself or the feeling that I wasn’t keeping up with others. Especially coming up on milestones like 30 these thoughts tend to creep back in but I am sick of feeling too young or too old or not ready or behind. I know so many people in so many different stages of life who all took different paths to get there and are all happy. Just focus on your happiness and what feels right for your life and do it.
- Work life balance is bullshit. There is no balance, there are always going to be times where one is a higher priority than the other and that’s ok. Instead of wasting all your time and focus on making sure everything is perfectly equal just focus on what needs to be done in that moment and get it done.
- How you feel is more important than a number. Whether its age or weight the number doesn’t matter. All that matters is that you feel good about yourself.
- Everything is going to kill you. How many times have you read that something is good for you, something is going to prevent cancer only to have the next article or book or whatever tell you that the same thing has been linked to causing cancer. You can honestly find evidence to support whatever theory you want to push if you look hard enough. I personally don’t have the time or the energy to put that much effort into researching the latest studies, ingredients or fads. We are all going to die someday and I rather live while i’m alive. Obviously there are some things that are serious and you should do but use common sense, listen to your doctor and don’t stress too much about it… remember stress can kill you to!
- You can learn pretty much anything on Youtube. No seriously..,anything. If you have an interest or you want to be an expert in something there are hours upon hours of free training right at your finger tips. I have fixed so many things myself rather than paying for it with the help of Youtube, a washing machine just to name one and I have learnt soo much about running my business and social media just on Youtube.
- You can do anything and everything, just not at the same time. This is such an important lesson to learn because I do truly believe you can do anything you want if you set your mind to it, make it a priority and focus but you can’t do everything all the the same time. There are only so many hours in the day so unfortunately that means in order for something to be a priority something else must fall to the back burner.
- You come first, always. This can be a hard pill to swallow especially if you have a spouse or kids or others who rely on you. But the truth is if you don’t take care of yourself you are not going to be able to care for anyone else. Its like the air plane oxygen rule, your mask goes on first always.
- Its ok, not to be ok. Mental health is finally becoming something that is talked about more often and for good reason. I believe that everyone struggles with some mental health issues at some point in their life whether they realise it or not. There comes a time where we are not ourselves or need some help and that is OK, whats not ok is not getting help. Help means so many things from just support from friends and family, to medical help. Just know that whatever you are going through it is ok and that there is help you just need to ask for it.
- Learn to make 1 signature dinner, appetiser and dessert! Find a recipe you love and learn to nail it! That way when your asking to bring something or you are having people over or you just don’t know what to make for dinner you have something to fall back on. My go to’s are: Lasagne, Brie & Cranberry’s and My Grandma’s Cherry Cheesecake!
- Always wash your face. Always! I don’t care if its just a makeup wipe, just do something. I personally keep our Fooops Remover Wipes on my bedside table so that in the worst case scenario I am washing off the grime of the day and giving my skin some nutrients.
- Don’t get so busy making a living that you forget to make a life. Money makes the world go round and it can be so easy to get caught up in working and making money, especially for a workaholic like myself. I constantly need to remind myself that the goal in working is to be able to support and enjoy my life and really if I’m not doing that what is the point in even working. You can’t take it with you when your gone.
- If you don’t use it, you’ll lose it. Our bodies are amazing but like a machine you need to take care of them and utilise them to keep them running in good condition. The older I get the harder things are to start back up again once I stop, and the more things hurt just from simply everyday things, like who knew you could injure yourself just by sleeping. Working in a retirement home at the beginning of my career it always amazed me to see the difference in people who were the same age but clearly lived a different lifestyle. So find an activity you love and make time for it.
- New isn’t always better. I am a huge thriftier. There are so many things that you can get 2nd hand for a fraction of the price that are barley used. Fitness equipment and outdoor toys are just an example of this, people buy them thinking they will use them and then they sell them cause they never do! You can set alerts on Kijiji and Facebook marketplace for specific things and then will be notified when one gets posted in your area. I also love thrifting clothing, coats in particular are a great one! Check out your local thrift store around the change of season when people are switching over their closets for the best selection but I recommend going in weekly just to see what is new that week!
- You are your worst critic. No one is going to judge you as much as you judge or critic yourself. Things that seem so obvious and horrible to you most people probably don’t even notice. The sooner you learn to love yourself and forgive yourself the better your life will be. Stop being so hard on yourself and start loving you.
- Learn the art of small talk. Small talk is enviable, you will come across many situations in your life where you will need to have conversations with complete strangers. Have some basic questions that you can ask anyone as people love talking about themselves. I personally have tried to move away from the “so what do you do?” question as it can be awkward if perhaps they don’t work for whatever reason, I like to ask ” So what do you like to do for fun, or how do you know “hosts name” .
- Social media is a highlight real. This is so important to remember and ties into so many things mentioned above. Think, when was the last time you posted about something truly shitting that happened, or a picture you didn’t like of yourself? Even the “real” post/photos on social media have been meticulously worded or photographed and they are just a glimpse into reality that the poster has chosen to share, not the whole story. This goes for more than just social media. Our culture is obsessed with celebrating successes, we have parties and gatherings to celebrate the milestones in life, the good things but we don’t talk about or bring attention to the bad or the everyday. I’m all about poppin the champagne and just celebrating the fact that I made it through another week without murdering anyone!
- You make time for what matters. Next time you go to say I don’t have time for “fill in the blank” try saying I don’t care about “fill in the blank”. Basically that is what it comes down to, we make time for what matters. Time is just an excuse and when we change the language it makes that choice more apparent. We all have wasted time in the day that could be better spent. When you narrow down your goals and priorities you can make time for what truly matters to even if that means maybe missing a TV show or two.
